Wildlife in the tropics

We have an array of different things here than at home.
There are these tiny, tiny insects..ants maybe, that dart everywhere. They are nearly impossible to see. And they bite. You'll see someone walking along and suddenly they will grab their butt cheek and let out a yowl! You'll think, "My God! They just threw out a hip!".. No, they have been bitten in the ass by an ant! Grown people have been seen ripping off clothes to get rid of the offender. We were on the beach a few days ago when I got this pain between my shoulder blades and I hiked my blouse right over my head! Did I care that my bra was sticking out? Heck no! People just chuckle and look away. Their turn is coming! There is a large psychiatric hospital here on the island. We suspect that it is full of people who got bit in the ass one to many times by these invisible insects  and went over the edge.

Monkeys. Locals say you have not been thrashed properly until you've been thrashed by a monkey. It's best not to feed them because they don't get the concept of "one for you and one for me". They want it all..whatever it is. It's like trying to feed one fish to a flock of pelicans and keeping the remainder of the bag for yourself. I know, firsthand, that this does not work. They gang up on you until you scream and throw the bag up in the air and run like hell. It's organized bird gang warfare. I suspect that these bad monkeys are the same. They torment the dogs here. A monkey will hang on the fence where there is a dog and mock the dog until it is in a canine frenzy. The monkey will then toss whatever is handy at the dog and run away. If these dogs ever get loose, there will be a monkey Valentine's Day Massacre. I have seen only one cat here. I believe that the monkeys are somehow responsible for this. I have not yet figured out how or why.

Free range chickens. I don't know about your town, but mine does not have chickens running in the streets. Call it island life. I don't know. I do know that their eggs have shells of steel and I can see why. If they get smacked by a bus, their embryo has to have a way to survive. These chickens  could take a 50ft smack up into the air off the front of a bus and their eggs would not crack. I am still trying to peel eggs that I hard-cooked 4 days ago. I make a little progress each day. With any luck, the shells should be off by Thursday and I will be able to make egg salad. I think their cement walkways here are made of egg shells.

Birds. There are numerous birds here and they are pushy. When we open the patio doors, if we do not crumble crackers or bread for them, some will walk right into the apartment, sit on the bed and give us that look that says, "Hey. I'm here! Where's the food?!" One is about to earn a big fat punch in the beak. He ate $15 worth of scones last week and, this week, he is going through an $8 package of crackers. I told Gordon that we should just buy bird feed for them. "No", he said, "We don't want them to think we'll feed them every day." ?????????????? Not only do we feed them everyday, they have now altered their nature and they stay up after dark to beg on the patio! If it wouldn't be for the lights on the golf course, they would never find their way home. Millions of years from now, scientists will try to discover the moment in time that these birds in Barbados became night birds. It will be Gordon's fault.